Posts tagged ‘Fun’

January 27, 2011

We Can’t Not See You

Right, so living in the city, you grow accustom to not seeing people.  You just can’t engage after awhile. shapes blur into a torrent of glances and worn shoes.  But occasionally, I find myself at a stoplight with just enough free time to take in Geary Blvd.  AND whoa. For whatever reason, the morning hours seem to bring a new level of awe to the streets of SF. enough spectacle to rival the 3AM Tenderloin crowd.

Do not misunderstand tho, it’s not face tattoos or ear-elfing what boggles.

it’s the pants.

On any given weekday morning, I challenge you to cruise the Richmond ave’s without your head-voice screaming “WE CAN SEE YOU” at least once along the way.  I’ll outline a few e.g.’s…

PJ Party – these folks like their coffee and they’re not about to let a thing like shame stop them from stumbling outta their flat and into the nearest Starbucks’ line.  rilly, we don’t appreciate the lounge pants with tiny pink martinis all over ’em like you might expect (claps for the flip-flops tho.. ugg slippers are irredeemable).

Non Jogger – I can guess, by your widest point, you do not sweat in that track suit.. cept maybe if the escalators to Ross are busted.  But I do marvel at how you’ve added large jewelry to the mix. complicates my leap to assume you’ve completely given up.  I like people who keep me thinkin.

Elastigirl – provokes both sympathy and outrage.  Thing is, I know you’re tired, lady.  Your energy-sucking offspring likely woke you no less than 8x last night, and naturally, the pending Safeway list doesn’t inspire.  But Holy Lycra, Helen! cmon.  Just because you don’t WANT to be seen doesn’t mean we can’t see you.  We can see everything, in fact. against our strongest efforts to unsee it.  So, if there’s but one thing you might consider..  pleeease, please buy a thong. please.  It takes the same amount of time to pull on.  I’ll gladly forgive the rest.  er, except the gold heels. never.

So when you get up tomorrow and need to run a quick errand, take a min to consider how your wardrobe choices might provoke your snarky neighbor into fits of fashion flogging.  er, then enjoy those warm PJs while I shiver on my high horse.

Alright, I feel cleansed. thank you.

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January 5, 2011

Sackboy Pattern

sackboy

Yes, way off topic, but something fun to share.  I made these over the holiday break.  The pattern is fairly simple, assuming you’re familiar enough with sewing to own a machine. heh.  I’m certainly no master seamstress, as you will soon deduce.

I purchased roughly 2.5 yards of fabric per doll, with lots leftover.  Also used:  matching thread7/8″ buttons for eyes, felt for mouth, embroidery thread for attaching the eyes and pulling in the mouth shape, zipper, small piece of lightweight fabric for the zipper pocket, and a heavy craft needle (blunt tip) to use with the embroidery thread (saves stabbing your fingers).

Print/cut all 8.5×11 pages below, pin to your fabric and cut pieces.  I washed, dried, and pressed my fabric before starting to make it more pliable.

Assembly!

HEAD – Machine stitch the Front/Sides/Back panels together, then pin the Top in place carefully before sewing (a big pain!.. happy to hear circle stitching tips:)

POCKET – Start with the Front body panels.  Pin the zipper to the center edge, then add the pocket liner, sandwiching the zipper between the liner and Front panel; Stitch all three layers together; Fold the pocket back and top stitch to keep it from catching in the zipper (trust me).

hmmm, More pictures would help, but I’m lazy.  Here’s a great lesson in zippology..

http://www.twelve22.org/2006/07/zipper_tutorial.html

If your zipper is extra short, then you’ll need to get sassy and stitch the remaining Front panels together below the zipper.. easier than it sounds (just reinforce the part where the seam stops and zipper starts). Then machine or hand stitch the bottom of the pocket lining together, but leave the top open for attaching the head and final stuffing adjustments.

BODY – Machine stitch the Back panels together, then the Front assembly to the Back along each side, then shoulders, then the.. er, crotch. *blush* I also added a body weight to even out the fat headedness.. just tie a few scoops of rice into a scrap piece of liner, then place it into the bum area before stuffing.

FINGERS – ugh. If you were complaining earlier about cutting out all those fingers, here’s where you’ll really start hating this project.  Stitch ALL EIGHT of those stupid #$%U@$% digits into tiny WAY-hard-to-turn-right-side-out sausages.  I changed the pattern because the tapered version was too painful, and they’re still painful, but super cute:) stuff ’em lightly when you’re done (pencil makes a great a tool).

ARMS – Pin three fingers and one thumb around the hand area on one Arm panel (they should point in, toward the palm, raw edges together. had to do this a few times to get the placement I wanted) Then sandwich with the other Arm panel.  Stitch the whole mess, then invert.  I removed the stitching and started over a few times, but it’s worth tweaking.  Found it’s easier to stop after stitching over the fingers/thumb to check placement before completing the seam.  Stuff when you’re happy or just done trying.

LEGS – Machine stitch the two layers, then pin the foot circle to the wider end and stitch (again, painful). Stuff ’em good.

NOW you’re not nearly finished;)

FACE – Stuff the head lightly, then decide where you want the eyes (they’re crazy far apart, let me tell you).  Use the embroidery thread with a blunt craft needle to attach the buttons, then create the quilting FX by gathering lots of the poly filler between the eyes and pulling the thread snug, then tie off (had to fight and pull more and add stuffing, etc).  Then for the mouth, make a few long, simple stitches to create a basic smile shape (using the same quilting trick between stitches), then pulled it all fairly snug and tie off.  Carefully hand stitched the felt smile over the mouth stitches.

The face is slow but fun to play around with. keep printed images close so you can glance and squish.

When the head is finished, hand stitch all the pieces onto the torso, starting with the legs, then arms, then head.  I went around each piece twice to make certain they wouldn’t pop off.  Then POOF!  done.  er, except that the neck looked way long, so I went back and pulled it in and stitched again. still too long, IMO. needs attention.  Plus, I plan to add decorative yarn stitching to make them more Sackish.

Other than those few hundred caveats, that’s the ball o’ wax.  It’s nowheres close to perfect, but if you need to whip up a Sackboy stat, here’s a jump-start.

good luck!

January 2, 2011

This is tha remix

Wow. January. so hey, you’re early.

Ran fresh out of patience for listening to my own head voice for bloggy type stuff over the mad holiday week.  Don’t know if I can stand myself for 365 days of this, actually.  tho 2 down! heh.

Thankfully, I’m right on track with the better wardrobe focus.  Successfully made it 48 hours sans pants!  and December was a nice way to switch over.  My reservation at Foreign Cinema did all I hoped and more.  Felt great wearing a new dress and the dinner was lovely! highly recommended.. esp, for a date. lots of cozy nooks and warm candles.

I do think this month will be more challenging.  January is made for layers of flannel.  and Harley was SO right, giving up warm pajamas is the toughest.  I kept my furry Conan boots on all evening yesterday, which did nothing for the favorite nightshirt and tights.. sort of Jen Aniston plays Valeria. non hot.

So now I’m on the hunt for a less humiliating solution for toasting my freezing toes. I am NOT a fan of the fat-footed fluffy slipper.. always hated how your feet look like they’re being partially digested by two house cats. ack!  gotta shop.

oh! and I did my first skort run with beaming pride today (tho my time was not that of a Hyrkanian archer;).  It was a looong 2 miles, but I did it.

and I did it in a skirt:)

Happy New Year Bloggers!

December 17, 2010

Crystal World with Winter Flowers

Turn my days to frozen hours.  ba-duh-duh

right, so I’m not lovin the thermal look, but hey, Tahoe and all. Some of the comments are golden tho. I like the Noisy! post “sounds like old granny sweats”. heh, sold!

December 16, 2010

10 Things I Don’t Want For Christmas

I like spelling things out around the holidays.  Can’t have someone laying offerings at my feet with misinformation;)

1. Spa visit. Seems like a sweet surprise, but save your duckets.  I don’t want you guessing at my favorite personals. I have people all over the map.. nails, waxing, facials.. and none of them connect.

2. Restaurant gift certificate. just make the darn reservation and slice out a piece of time for dinner.

3. A blender.  Seriously, listen. I love to cook but there are rules about housewares.  Family and best friend, maybe.. actually sure, I trust your motives!  Facebook ‘friend’.. er, no. and you shouldn’t be shopping for me, regardless;)  Otherwise, do not give food prep items to people who occasionally prep your food.  Goes 1000x over for cleaning supplies.  I will cut you if I’m forced to unwrap a Hoover.

whew, baggage. moving on..

4. Shoes. obvious, but let’s put it in writing.

5. Kinect. ok fine, I have one, so it doesn’t count. But ugh, frustrating enough to make the list.  It’s mostly just the unmet desire to lord over Netflix.  Only so many ways you can say “XBox, Pause!.. um, pause??   XBOX PAU.. ack! not rewin.. no wait. er, stop?  XBOXSTOPP!!”  AND I’m way disturbed by the mini, heat-vision view of me on the couch with my martini, waiting for the next ep of House to just PLAY already! sigh.

6. A baby anything. person, cat, etc. Do not bring me tiny bodies to maintain. The cuter it is, the less likely it can clean its own bum.

7. Clothing in any size larger than small. The pain of exchange is so worth playing Pretend I’m Skinny.

8. A vest. also obvious.

9. Cash. Santa is not the Tooth Fairy.

and lastly..

10. Pants!!;) tho if you do, make them a size OO!

December 15, 2010

Ticket Taker

Woke this morning with all the sparkly dancers still in my head.  Amazing performance!  Made me want to eat sugar straight from the bowl. So, yes, great evening! heh

Anyway, back down to earth to sort clothes. glug, huge project.  I had no idea. It’s basically like reorganizing a not-so-hip boutique.  Think maybe I was a shopping hoarder in my past life.  keep finding things with tags attached.. which, awesome deal on a great Claiborne dress! but what the heck?  Why have I never worn it??

The easiest answer.. the right occasion didn’t pop up and smack me.  But then, boyhowdy! let’s make one.  I mean, why not Open Table myself a reason to wear that dress!:)

So, I reserved a cozy patio spot at Foreign Cinema for the 23rd.  I’ve never been. Might be a bit too themed for my taste, but I’m curious.  AND they’re playing Spirited Away.  Win!

December 14, 2010

Princess Tutu

Tonight I’m off to see the San Francisco Ballet perform the Nutcracker!  And I must say, this skirt is doing it for me.  If I were 8, I’d toss a proper fit until it landed under the tree.

Guessing it’d feel far less magical in the produce section of Safeway, but! I’d be more apt to twirl through my day.  Might make Tuesdays more fun;)

Happy Sugar Plums!

December 11, 2010

Twisted

so, B2B Costumes. quickly realizing the limited number of choices for running.

You’re pretty much restricted to VERY short skirts or risk a nasty road rash. can’t be too flowy or complicated.  And that basically just leaves the “sexy” selections. which, I wouldn’t complain about were I (eh hem) somewhat younger, but cmon.  Isn’t the skort embarrassment enough?? why add Head Nurse Halter to the list.

It’s the same around Halloween. you’re faced with WALL of WENCHES. and maybe if everything wasn’t made from the absolute sh!ttiest fabric known to goblins, I’d half consider the Totally Mad Hatter because whoa.. crazy works in certain situations, but 7am in the middle of the Embarcadero? not so sizzly.

regardless, I gotta pick something. Rainbow Bright could work. need to think on it.

December 10, 2010

Ackin Like Thay Drunkk

k, lighter mood, obviously;)  Time to start moving forward with Christmas and pantless plans for 2011.

Sooo TODAY! I registered for the 100th running of Bay to Breakers! and I’m more than a little excited.  What better way to celebrate the Year of Legs than with a nekkid event. not to imply Yours Truly will be all skin out, but it’s definitely a golden op to wear something other than the usual lycra capris.

The real wig splitter tho, is WHAT??! it’s gotta be fun, colors n sparkles, and maybe a cape. er, no cape. MAYBE fur? dunno. but I gotta be able to run in it.  I picked corral A this year (whoa.) and I’ve yet to run that fast. ever.  2010 brought me in at 1:08:29 and that’s pretty much the best time I’ve managed so far. but I’m hopeful because..

First – once I lock on it’s done.  I’ll do it, or file my feet down to nubs trying.

B – I just bought a FAB home gym!  not crazy fancy, but still awesome, imo.  Body Solid G6B with.. (best part) a LEG PRESS!!!  is it weird that I get a little flushed when I think about it?  what, I like exercise. it’s a thing.

lastly, I’ll have a friend with me. and his half-effort will blow me off the pavement, so I gotta step it up.  it’s not fair tho. his legs are roughly the length of ME, but still. he better at least look winded when we finish. fake it!;p

anyways, I’m drifting. Costumes! I’m wearin somethin happy. must have skirt, must be bendy/stretchy, must not make me look like Stay Puft.

sounds like a fun web shopping weekend:) post my faves!